Curiosity killed the cat, Satisfaction brought it back

I know it has been a while since I had posted anything, but my access to the laptop has been limited. I am not sure why the humans got so upset with me when I pulled the letter F key out. My claw was stuck, and it hurt. Today I managed to sneak on to the laptop and since they have grown lax about putting it away I am sure I can post more often.

The dogs finally got what was coming to them. They have been banished outside. Us cats, now have full run the sun room. The human even put in this little door just for us. It works out really well since the only time they come into the room is to fill our food and take out our waste. By the way, humans are very disgusting. I really do not understand why they are always messing with our dirt. While I will admit it is very kind of them to give us nice clean dirt. I really do not understand why they steal our old dirt. I think they have bizarre fetishes. I seriously clean my paws every time I come into contact with a human.

The humans recently tore a hole in the wall. I personally find this very unfair. I am always getting yelled at when I try to make holes in things. I am not sure how they knew that there would be some rooms on the other side, I think they just got lucky. They seem very happy about it and have already started moving stuff into those rooms. One room however they keep putting in all this new stuff and then blocked it all so we cannot check it out. Seriously greedy much? I have no idea why the humans have suddenly decided not to share. I am certain that that means that there is something there I am really gonna want. The wasted space known as Sahara knows this too. But, she is easily distracted with a toy so I will find it first.

I am not sure what is wrong with the human called Leandra. But, I think she needs to go on a diet. Her belly is getting pretty big, and quite frankly there is something wrong with it. I mean my stomach will growl when I am hungry but it does jump out and attack innocent people. Her stomach will. Sometime it just starts moving, it reminds me of Sahara trying to hide under a towel, but she has no patience so you can see her twitching under the towel. You know this would not be a bad thing if she had eaten Sahara. Then I would have lots of enjoyment watching her belly move, but as it stand now, it is just creepy.

So after months of constantly fighting the humans to go outside, I think I have finally developed the perfect torture for them. I am killing them with love. I wait until they are busy doing something like, watching TV, reading a book, playing a game, or just trying to go to sleep, and then I rub up against their face demanding attention. This has proven very successful, on more than one occasion I have woken them up in the middle of the night. They are becoming very frustrated with me, the best part is when they try to give me love in the hopes I will leave them alone later, I raise such a ruckus that they let me go. I am wearing them down, I think I really only have a few more… Drat, Sahara just saw me, I have to go and put her in her place before she rats me out to the humans.